They say if you believe it and you say it out loud, then so will
it be. Yes, the power of words is so amazing. For some time now I have been weary of writing anything-short of words and could not get myself to hold that pen or hit the keypad of my laptop. I just couldn’t, period.
Did I even know what was going on? No. But did I even care? Yes.
It bothered me a lot why I was going about numb like a zombie-as if sedated or stone dead! I did not have any motivation at all and it’s been 3 months. Not to say it didn’t bother me. Oh God it did but I just didn’t have the energy to address the issue.
Then one day, I got inspiration after an unusual dream. When I woke up I had this conviction that if I prayed with enough faith, this block would shift. So I did just that. I went down on my knees and talked to my creator about my plight and needs-and so here I am. Just finished this piece!
Thank you Master!
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Here I am talking about releasing yourself from social constraints. My online Thesaurus describes the word liberate as “to set somebody free from traditional socially imposed constraints such as those arising from stereotyping by gender or age.” As we traverse through life from birth to death, we come across people, events and norms that bind us or shackle us. Most of the time it is not easy for one to know they are bound until an outside event
triggers an awakening at soul level. It is at this time that one starts
questioning the status quo but also risks being labeled a rebel or misfit. Thus one needs to understand the liberation
process and carefully manage it for success. I will give a few
instances where you might need to set yourself free.
Liberating yourself from childhood traumas
If you are a woman, you could have been brought up under a strict cultural environment where a girl child has to conform to certain norms within society. For example, the idea that women are inferior to men and so they have to be submissive. Most women have problems speaking out or taking up leadership
positions in business as they view themselves as not being capable of challenging their male colleagues. There is also another trauma where girls are supposed to do most of the household chores and conform to the norm
that “a woman’s place is in the kitchen.” These societal constraints from childhood continue to haunt women as
However, as more and more women get educated and mix and mingle with other cultures, they are awakened to the fact that human beings are created equal and so have equal rights. The only species that need to be dominated are the animal and plant kingdoms. It is at such times that an individual needs to realize the power of love. Loving yourself fully opens the door to more discoveries and abundance. But how can one love and accept their inadequate self. A gap exists between what they are accustomed to and the new beliefs.This is where the idea of forgiving yourself plays an important role. Also forgive those that have put you in bondage. It could be your ancestors, parents or society. Acknowledge the fact that as an individual you deserve equal opportunities and love. So begin by empowering yourself through forgiving yourself. Then you can forgive the rest. Self-hate and carrying grudges only serves to keep you bound to the past. You need to put the burden down and create
room for self-discovery.
Liberating yourself from parental control
Whether male or female, you could be subject to parental control even as an adult. The idea was for parents to be responsible for their children’s welfare up to a certain age. This is why there are some milestones in one’s life such as early childhood, teenage, young adult, full adult etc. and these are marked by age groups. I believe that when a child reaches adulthood, it is time for parents to let go but this might not happen naturally. Thus there are instances of adults who are bound and controlled by one or both parents. In African tradition, a child will always be a child into old age. Alternatively, women will always be minors. Hence, these people will always consult with and get approval from their parents before making any major decisions.
Another subtle form of bondage is the traditional belief that a child is indebted to the parents who would have sacrificed to provide for the child. So the expectation is that the child should pay back in gratitude to the parents. However, this societal constraint limits the individual’s ability to progress in life as they are forever paying a non-ending debt. It is this socially imposed belief that results in the battle between in-laws. Mother’s in law want to perpetuate control of their sons and meddle in their marriages by demanding large sums of money as compensation for the trouble they went through. Some parents demand certain ongoing responsibilities from their children to ensure that they are well provided into old age. Regardless of the child’s performance in life, this
obligation remains intact and can choke the life out of the individual who has to keep up with their peers while at the same time keeping up with parental demands.
Removing parental control can be a stubborn form of bondage as one risks being considered rebellious, outcast and in some cultures it is taboo to speak out, especially against your mother. Traditionally, some retribution comes with such an act. It is therefore crucial that when awakened to the existence of such control one takes time to acknowledge the problem. Without acknowledging the problem, fear of retribution can act as another set of chains. After acknowledging the problem, one needs to discuss with other people who might or might not be facing such challenges. This helps to put perspective to the issue and bring more understanding. Some form of prayer also helps strengthen one’s inner resolve and to dissolve the fear. One needs to acknowledge connection to source/God that is the creator. When this realization comes about, it is easy to see objectively the role played by parents. This brings further realization that one does not need to do anything beyond what they afford their creator, for their parents are simply co-creators under instruction. Once the assignment is complete, there should be no further obligation. As God has granted us free will and we choose what we want to do with him, the same is applied to parents.One should not feel obliged beyond their free will. However, when one is bound, they feel more obligated toward parents instead of God/Creator/Source.
Therefore, in all cases where you have decided to liberate yourself, one needs to apply these principles:
1. acknowledge the existence of a problem
2. forgive yourself and those that have contributed to your bondage
3. talk to other people
4. pray/meditate over the issue and what you need to do
5. make a decision to love yourself and change things
6. exercise your God given right of free will
This article is a result of personal experiences and the tools applied to overcome the problem of bondage. Please feel free to comment, share or to receive more inspiring articles, SUBSCRIBE to my mailing list.
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At a recent wedding, the master of ceremony gave a brief sermon. The title of his short sermon was “Nurture Your First Love”. When he started we all looked at each other wondering what this was all about and how this fit into the occasion. But as he went on, it was very clear that this was a message not only to the newlyweds but to all the married people in the audience.
When you first fall in love, everything seems so beautiful, rosy and moving in slow motion. He gave an example of how a couple in love tends to share everything. If they buy two ice creams, they both lick at the same one and
take turns; it does not bother them who eats the largest potion. A couple in love does not get tired of being together, in each other’s company. None bothers the other. But wait a couple of years down the line:
1. Sharing food becomes taboo. The wife can no longer wait for hubby to come home since by the time he
arrives everything will be stone cold. Hubby is now a workaholic who leaves the office at odd hours during the night.
2. The irritation is unbearable as his jokes suddenly become so boring and embarrassing if in the company of other people.
3. One husband spends his time with his friends at the pub. He comes home late at night and expects the wife to be cheerful and eager to please him???
4. Where there should be milk and honey- there’s sour milk and honeycombs.
5. If you want your partner to treat you like a king/queen, treat them like a queen/king.
The master of ceremonies rightly observed that men are logical while women are emotional. Thus one should not expect the other to behave otherwise.
Valentine's Day Ideas
2 Major Reasons Why Couples Fight Over Money
Either there is too much or too little. That’s it…simple. It is quite fascinating how everything revolves around these two scenarios. We can argue from whatever angle we like but all boils down to these two facts. Let’s look at some examples of how this comes about.
When There’s Too Much Money
When there is too much money flowing in the home, people tend to be relaxed, throw caution to the wind and splash it around. Now if your partneris easy with money while you are miserly or the other way round, then you have a problem. People who are miserly tend to hold onto money, they are too attached and struggle to let go while those who are generous would like to splash it around. When such two people are coupled, there are grounds for fighting and arguments, accusations and counter accusations.
Even if there is more than enough money, they still fight!
There is more than enough but the partners just don’t see eye to eye. One wants to enjoy all the frills that come with the money such as holidays, luxury cars, nice clothes etc. but risks clashing with the partner who likes to trace where every penny has gone to. Some people shun the limelight and would rather lead a private life, not showing off or flaunting their wealth. I have read so many stories of people who lived like paupers and yet they had lots of money or gold and silver stashed somewhere. Others ended up leaving their wealth to charities or to their pets yet they never enjoyed the wealth when they were alive.
It is difficult for the carefree partner as they have to justify every expense leading to resentment and secret ending. Some people keep secret bank accounts from their partners so they can fund their interests easily
without risking interrogation and accusations. Then there is the case of men who when they have too much money end up with a string of concubines or “small houses” a colloquial reference in some circles. This causes strife in the home as interests become diverse and mismatched and lead to constant fighting over small issues while the main culprit remains too much money.
Too little money in the home causes sleepless nights with arguments over what to prioritize. If only one of the partners is the breadwinner, they might feel justified in wanting to have the final say. The situation becomes worse if the wife is the breadwinner as already men do not like to feel inferior or challenged by their female counterparts. Too little money in the home causes a variety of arguments as any topic can easily divert and end
up being about money. The husband might accuse the wife of wasting his money on non- essential items and on the other hand the wife might feel like the husband is not providing enough for the home or spending on entertainment outside the home. A lot of animosity between couples can be traced back to money, from decisions on where to live, how many children to have, what diet or entertainment to have and even what schools the children should go to.
What can you do about this?
Next time you have an argument with your partner, examine it carefully to see if it’s not rooted in either too much money or too little. If it is due to too little, then it is time to look at ways to make extra cash. Visit any of the videos on this page for
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How to Manage Family Relationships-Part 1: Relationship with your spouse
Relationship with your spouse
This can be a tricky but also dangerous relationship if not properly managed. But it can also be rosy if you know the vital secrets.
Secrets to managing relationship with your spouse
1. Know each other well
Knowing each other is a crucial aspect of relationships. It is usually best to learn as much as you can about the other person before you commit but sometimes whirlwind romances do happen and people end up tied down with a stranger. If you wake up and find that you do not fully understand or know your spouse-do not panic! You need to be calm and trace your steps back to where you left off but be patient. You need to ask relevant questions but do not hurry as your spouse might be taken aback by you trying to start from scratch. You need to know what your spouse values in life, communication style, love language, interests etc. You can approach this like a quiz or game where you choose a special setting like going out to dinner, movies, the beach or even relaxing by the fireplace at home. Make it interesting enough for your spouse to want to participate. You could even try a game of truth or dare.
2. Communicate effectively
In order to communicate effectively, one needs good listening skills. There is no point in trying to get your message or point across if you cannot pause and receive feedback from the other person. Suppose you want to ask your spouse to do something for you, then your temper and body language should be right. If you receive negative feedback, then you need to pause, rephrase or drop the subject and try another time. Perhaps this was not a good time for your spouse, they are in a bad mood or there was a misunderstanding. Arguing and trying to force your point will not help as you would get a worse reaction as your partner becomes defensive by going on the offensive. If the request is coming from your spouse and you are not ready to receive and act on it then either just say so or ask for time to think about it while you strategize on how best to phrase or express your response. Then make your point as clear as possible because ambiguity causes confusion.
Secrets to managing relationship with your spouse
3. Give and take
Remember a relationship with another person is a give and take affair. Sometimes you need to bend over backwards to accommodate your partner and expect them to do the same. Even the Bible speaks of “Give and You Shall Receive.” Normally you get back what you give but in varying proportions. Give some love and you will get a lot of it back. You also take a lot of pain as you manage the relationship and have to put in a lot of work too. However, a relationship should be balanced and not one-sided.
4. Allow individuality
Each person is a stand-alone entity, thus it is necessary to allow individuality in the relationship. Healthy relationships thrive on letting each person be what God made them to be. Trying to mold someone to be like you will never work and this point is especially for possessive spouses who want to control everything to the extent of dictating what TV programs the other person should watch and what company they should keep. If your hobby happens to be napping, please do not force your spouse to take a nap when they want to read a book. You could be an “early to bed, early to rise kind “, while your spouse is a “night owl and late to rise type”; forcing them to do your bidding will only breed animosity. The best approach would be to find some common ground and take advantage of that space when the two circles interact to form a subset of common space. Utilize that space.
5. Celebrate the relationship
Celebrate your differences, celebrate your similarities and best of all learn to live with each other. Have a vision and persue your dreams here.
What is intuition?
It’s that still, small voice talking back at you at odd moments and gives you a fright sometimes. Suppose you are driving to work and suddenly a voice tells you or a fleeting thought says, “Turn right”. You actually want to laugh because; here you are…talking to yourself. Then you find out a few minutes later that there was an accident a few meters from where you turned and had you kept going, you would have been stuck in traffic. Or that voice that tells you to shut up, when you want to say something, then you realize you were going to say the wrong thing and that would have cost you your reputation.
So that is intuition, an inner knowing that cannot be explained by your logical mind but does affect your life in a
big way. When you follow through with your intuition, sometimes magical things happen and the rational mind cannot grasp. However, some people do not believe in this small voice but would rather call it old fashioned luck. To me it is the same thing because sometimes we do things subconsciously without being aware. Like in the case of driving on a busy road, one could be listening to the radio, when suddenly you apply brakes, only to realize that you missed the car in front by an inch. If you were not listening to the radio, perhaps you could have heard the voice clearly .So you call it luck!
Different names for the same thing…
In religion there are different terms to describe the same phenomenon. Some will say, it is the voice of God or the Holy Spirit or an Angel and other spiritual religions call it the Higher Self .Regardless of whatever name it is given, the point I want to make is that, it is very important to follow this small voice within us, as it is at the core of the self. It is the all- knowing voice that accompanies each and every one on their journey in life. Often times ignoring this voice has led to tragic things happening andyou hear someone saying: “that thought passed through my mind but I ignored it.”
Intuition in business
So how does intuition apply in business? I have often woken up with a phrase or word continuously playing in my head. Perhaps something to do with a blog article, a marketing idea or an investment I have to make. My rule of thumb is that if I try to dismiss the thought/idea twice and it does not go away but comes back for the third time, then I have to implement it. My intuitive self is very patient with me as I established this rule to protect myself from compulsive behavior or being carried away by the multitude of hypnotic messages I come across throughout the day. In other words, I put my intuition to the test.
However, there are certain instances where I have to trust the first instruction that pops up. Say, I have a form that I am completing and it is asking me to tick a box to indicate what action I would like to take. Usually by the time that form is presented before me, there would have been preceding events that serve to prepare me for the decision. This happens to everyone, but the degree of clarity comes with practice and paying attention or being fully conscious of one’s surroundings. Intuition means different things to different people.
It would be interesting to hear from others howintuition plays out in their lives or businesses. Please leave a comment below.
Time Management on the fly!
Finding myself on a 3-hour flight to a southern Island country of Madagascar, with no in-flight entertainment, I had to resort to some time management tactics. The flight took off from Johannesburg where I spent the night in transit. The plane is a small "S. A. Air link" aircraft with no on board entertainment, in spite of a 3 hour journey. As a writer, my instinct immediately kicks in and I have to find a topic to write about to kill this time.
Writing, journaling and blogging are fun ways of managing sudden idle time. I have since discovered that there are so many things to write about. From analyzing the character sitting next to you to the behavior of passengers; to the quality of service etc. The topics are many. I decide to focus on my thoughts and feelings and being in empower network means that I live and dream about my future prospects. My mind briefly wanders off to the progress I have made so far in setting up my blog, posting articles and setting up advertising and promotion channels.
As a natural writer, the writing part is already taken care of. It is the marketing bit which needs a lot of hand holding. Fortunately, I am now connected to social networking and social media marketing Firstly with Sokule">Sokule, I can squeak /post and blog from one platform and have my message posted to over 80 social media sites and blogs.This is a cool feature that I decided to use and I am currently a silver member. With the silver package it is possible to have my message automatically emailed every 3 days to my followers.
Upon joining Empower Network, I was linked to an elite Facebook group whose purpose is to assist members with setting up blogs, marketing and just cooling off and exchanging ideas with colleagues. It’s like a family, and there is a sub- group that only caters for women in business. This alone is worth more than the cost of buying the starter package at $25 apiece.
My mind wanders off to the various products that one has to invest in, in order to become an all- in member. Firstly, the “inner Circle” membership is another investment of $100 and this opens doors to mentorship by the biggest and successful minds on Empower Network. They share their secrets of success at no holds barred weekly calls. The 15K formula is another tool that links up the member with the best kept secrets of internet marketing. All the tricks of the trade are laid bare. Going “all in” with Empower Network is the sure way of success with this program.
My flight time management tactics seem to be working perfectly as a lot of ideas flood my mind and I suddenly find myself in Chicago. This is a member’s convention that everyone is looking forward to. I would love to go to Chicago!!!
In fact, I will go to Chicago come April 2013.
I realize that I have to set my intention right if I want this to manifest in my life. At the Chicago convention, I believe I will have the opportunity to rub shoulders with the who- is- who of the blogging and internet marketing world. Who does not want to be part of this cool event? For one to qualify though, you need to at least do the basic first and JOIN the blogging platform and become an affiliate. The affiliate program pays 100% commissions and it is one of a kind. It comes with a built in merchant for processing your customer payments and
commissions and making them available for transfer to your bank account.
If you are reading this and wondering, how to join this network that is empowering ordinary folks all over the world, then you need to watch this video first. If you decide this is for you , then take massive action. I will make sure anyone who JOINS under me gets the same training opportunities I got as well as access to the various Facebook groups.
I now realize that success is tied to effective time management as this session has proved to be productive. The Captain has just announced that there is 10 minutes to landing, so I guess it is time to put away my notebook
and buckle up. By the way, you can request more information HERE
Most of 2012 was spent by many chasing UFO’s, waiting for aliens from the Galactic Federation to land en-masse on a mission to save the human race. A year before that , many sold their worldly possessions in a bid to
secure a seat in heaven after the much publicized 21 May , end of the world date. The date was later moved to October of the same year but still nothing happened.
In 2012, many people who believed that the world was coming to an end invested their life savings in underground bunkers, storerooms full of groceries, ammunition etc. All this was part of preparation for doomsday, slated for the 21st December 2012.But nothing happened and the world continues and the earth still rotates around the sun.
Many prophesy and channelings have dwelt on the subject of mass landings, disclosure, apocalypse etc. with great abandon to the disappointment of many believers who put their lives on hold while they pursued these new age beliefs.
Recently in my city, there has been an outcry over the story of a so-called prophet who claims to be able to miraculously manifest money (USD) into people’s bank accounts/pockets instantly. He is said to have demonstrated this ability on national TV. However, among the challenges to this Minister of The Gospel from a fellow Minister of Finance was that, if he is able to manifest money from nothing, then surely he should be able to transfer money into Treasury coffers so the country can pay its debts. Interesting enough two camps have since formed around this issue, the first consists of diehard supporters who believe a man of God should never be criticized or questioned and the second belongs to skeptics who suspect foul play.
It is a very interesting world we are living in and so many events have proven how we are as gullible a human race as a toddler. I reserve judgment and leave it to the reader to discern what could be happening.
Finally a new year has dawned on us. After being pre-occupied with 2012 and its various prophesy, one never thought a new year would so gloriously be ushered into our presence. It is true that no one knows the day when the world will come to the end except its creator. Even Jesus did not know. Therefore it is prudent to take the New Year as an opportunity to re-create our lives.
I spent New Year’s Eve full of nostalgia for a different set of events, less stressful than the past 12 months. When I got into 2012, I must have understated the toll it would have on my body, spirit and soul. Not to say that there was anything bad that happened but just keeping up with the pace was highly taxing. First there were the different interpretations of the Mayan prophesies, the spiritual ascension phenomena, the end of the world from a pagan and a Christian perspective, the possibility of aliens landing on our planet leading to some disclosure etc. etc. The media in all its forms was awash with speculation after speculation. Huge volumes of channelings were offered in an attempt to explain events and offer advice about what to do when. It was such a confused year.
However, for those grounded in their spiritual truth, 2012 came and went with the least of stress. As for me, I spent New Year’s Eve, visualizing and praying for an opportunity to re-create whatever suffered from lack of attention due to my pre-occupation with the past year. What came to mind included the recreation of my relationships. As I tried to keep pace with 2012, I must have ignored a lot of relationships that needed nurturing. Starting at home, I would like to re-create my relationship with my family, i.e. spend more quality time with them. I would also like to re-create my relationships with my friends and work colleagues; to appreciate and give them more attention.
There are other greater desires that I have held since childhood but have not had an opportunity to manifest such as becoming a published author and running a successful business. Thus I’m taking 2013 seriously as I believe this is an opportunity to re-create these dreams and pursue them.
Happy New Year!
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Do dead people visit us the living? I can certainly answer that, yes they do, talking from experience. Last night I had a dream and a strange one at that. This is because the person I dreamt of died more than 20 years ago and his memory had almost faded. I was close to this person from childhood; we had a strong attraction and a brief fling in our teens. I liked him but did not settle for him as a life partner, maybe because I sensed a closed future. He died suddenly while in college. I actually heard the news via other people as a“by the way, so and so passed away”. I was not directly involved in the funeral, neither did I see him or have an opportunity to say goodbye before his death.
It was just sudden.
Anyway, fast forward to my 45th birthday and I had this strange dream where I could see him and recognize his features clearly. I could almost say his name but he introduced himself to the man I was with (a relative?). He introduced himself as ‘Sir Chairman’ and that his family has since died. I’m not sure if that is a real life fact as I have not been in touch with his family since his death .He also said that he had gone to the underworld but now had returned for some reason. He actually gave a long background speech whose words I cannot clearly remember. But I could tell he was back for a reason. I smiled in my dream and could feel the attraction I had to this person.
Anyway, I continued my dreams of other things but I felt like I was in a lucid state. I could tell that I was sleeping and in control of the events that were taking place. When I woke up in the morning, I had this sense of peace. I remembered the dream, especially the connection I felt. This was a visit from a long lost friend. I believe there was no harm intended and this was a way of bringing closure for both of us.
When I googled the word “underworld” I learnt that according to Greek Mythology, the was a place beneath the earth surface where dead people go briefly before reincarnating. Strange world.
Mosline Farawu is a creative writer who likes to share her thoughts and observations . It is my hope that many will find healing through such writings.